108 Ways to get kicked out of killed in Fairy Tail
by blackmailingqueen
Summary: A list of 108 different hilarious situations, with a small bit of background.
1. 1-20

_**Convince the women of Fairy Tail to hold a kissing booth.**_

Needless to say, many ships sailed that day, and many men went home in full body casts.

 _ **Convince the guys it would be a good idea to prank the girls.**_

Every guy, except for Romeo because he isn't stupid, spent the next three weeks as stone statues after dying Evergreen's hair neon pink.

 _ **Tell Mira you ship 'GrayLu'.**_

If Natsu and Lucy ended up locked in a closet for the next few hours, well Mirajane had nothing to do with it.

 _ **Inform Elfman of Mira and Laxus' secret relationship.**_

He got so angry he used a full body take over to go confront Laxus.

 _ **Watch in amusement when he goes to confront Laxus.**_

The resulting fight ended up with a blushing Mira, an annoyed Laxus, and a knocked out Elfman.

 _ **Insist that Happy is really an alien from another world, come to kill everyone.**_

Levy tried it once. Saying that it explained why he was the only weird colored cat.

 _ **Convince Natsu of that.**_

It was funny watching him walk around with a tinfoil hat until he tried to make Lucy wear one too… Then it was hilarious.

 _ **Suggest a drinking contest to Cana.**_

The resulting party was so loud that the next morning Blue Pegasus came to complain, only to find everyone passed out with hangovers.

 _ **Out drink Cana.**_

Natsu passed out only moments after Cana. Making sure he won.

 _ **Suggest a 'Fairy Tail Pin-Up Calendar'.**_

Macao wasn't seen for three weeks after that. Romeo was just embarrassed.

 _ **Offhandedly remark to Natsu that Lucy and Gray are an item.**_

Natsu was so angry that the Guild Hall nearly burned to the ground as he stormed off to find Gray.

 _ **Offhandedly remark that Lucy and Gray are an item to Juvia.**_

Juvia was so upset that the Guild Hall nearly drowned in her tears.

 _ **Tell Juvia that there is a fandom for 'GrayLu'.**_

Her resulting thunderstorm lasted for weeks.

 _ **Give her exact details about her Lucy is right at that moment.**_

Lucy had overheard you telling Juvia and tried to hide.

 _ **Offer her many weapons with which to kill Lucy.**_

Erza had a wide variety from which to choose.

 _ **Convince Happy that Carla has a 'thing' for Lilly.**_

Cana had way too much time on her hands when she wasn't drinking.

 _ **Try to steal one of Levy's books.**_

Natsu learned this early on when she nearly killed him.

 _ **Tell Gajeel that Jet and Droy had plans to kidnap Levy and elope with her.**_

Without saying a word Gajeel stormed off taking Levy with him… They haven't been seen in two weeks, we worry for their health.

 _ **Tell Jet and Droy that Levy has run off with Gajeel and they are planning their wedding.**_

The resulting flood of tears almost rivaled Juvia's.

 _ **Smash Erza's cake.**_

Does this one really need to be explained?


	2. 21-40

_**21\. Announce a Fiore wide survey to determine the best Dragon Slayer.**_  
Cana made a ton of Jewel on bets over the outcome.  
 _ **22\. Inform Natus that he was not voted number 1.**_  
The look on Natus' face was priceless.  
 _ **23\. Tell the rest of the dragon slayers that he was.**_  
Gray could barely keep from laughing at the shocked faces on the others as he delivered the news.  
 _ **24\. Laugh when the others begrudgingly congratulate him on winning, and he starts a fight because he thinks they're making fun of him.**_  
Many fights were started that day. (Also the winner of the contest turned out to be Cobra)  
 _ **25\. Trick Jellal into admitting that he's still in love with Erza.**_  
Technically it wasn't even Fairy Tail wizards that did this one… It was all Crime Sorciere, but mostly Meredy. (With a little help from Mira)  
 _ **26\. Record it and play it back to Erza.**_  
Meredy sent it to Mira who played it on the guild speakers… for a month.  
 _ **27\. Get Natsu and Lucy really drunk.**_  
Natsu is surprisingly good at holding his alcohol.  
 _ **28\. Convince them, in their drunken state, that it's a good idea to get married.**_  
Mira and Mavis were bored and in a matchmaker mood.  
 _ **29\. Repeat the previous two with your various ships.**_  
They managed to get away with marrying: Erza and Jellal, Gray and Juvia, Levy and Gajeel, and Happy and Carla before Master put a stop to it.  
 _ **30\. Have Redus paint each couple during the wedding so that the moment lives forever.**_  
He was way too willing to capture the moments.  
 _ **31\. Spread rumors that Lucy is hiding the Exceed race in her bathroom.**_  
Juvia thought it would be a good way to get rid of 'Love Rival'.  
 _ **32\. Actually, hide the Exceed race in Lucy's bathroom.**_  
The less said about how she managed to fit all of them into that tiny bathroom, the better.  
 _ **33\. Tell Happy, Carla, Lily, and Natsu.**_  
The three Exceed's were outraged and Natsu was there to kick down doors.  
 _ **34\. Tell Juvia that 'Gray-sama' is on a date with Lisanna right now.**_  
Actually, the two were on a job. But to Laxus that was too boring.  
 _ **35\. Insist it's happening, even though Gray is standing five feet away.**_  
Gray was not pleased to have Juvia clinging to him, begging that he not go with a 'Love Rival'. Lisanna was just happy that Juvia wasn't in a murdery kind of mood.  
 _ **36\. Steal the completed draft of Lucy's book.**_  
This time it was Levy who stole it, with the help of Lily.  
 _ **37\. Read it out loud to the entire guild.**_  
Then Gajeel stole it from them and proceeded to read it… out loud.  
 _ **38\. Convince Jellal to propose to Erza.**_  
Mira did this before the whole drunk marriage idea.  
 _ **39\. Help Mira plan their wedding.**_  
Two matchmaking demon sisters planning a wedding was enough to scar the guild for life.  
 _ **40\. Stand within three feet of Gray for any extended amount of time.**_

Again, do I really have to explain this one?


	3. 41-60

_**41\. Tell the Dragon Slayers that you saw their dragons flying around a few days ago near the coast.**_

Hibiki hadn't understood the venomous glares from the other members of Fairy Tail as he told Natsu, Gajeel, and Wendy about the dragonesque shadows he'd seen while taking a walk on the beach.

 _ **42\. Give them detailed directions to where you claim to have seen them**_.

Erza had waited until the three hopeful dragonslayers were out of earshot before beating up Hibiki for giving them false hope.

 _ **43\. Ask Lisanna about Edolas.**_

That guild member had never feared for their life more than when Elfman stormed up and escorted them out of the building and said never to ask about it again.

 _ **44\. Explain to Mira that her Nalu ship will not be having 33 babies.**_

Honestly, Cana loved Mirajane like a sister, but someone had to break up the delusion.

 _ **45\. Tell her that for the rest of her ships.**_

They'd needed to have an intervention for the rest of them.

 _ **46\. Give Mirajane, Lucy, Levy, Juvia, and Erza an all expenses paid trip to a resort hotel and spa for three weeks.**_

All five accepted and it was all Lisanna could do not to smirk as her plans fell into place.

 _ **47\. While the girls are at the spa, start a play, and invite them to be the five main protagonists.**_

They were a little hesitant, so the disguised Bisca, told them that they'd get to wear pretty wedding dresses. That got them all on board much faster.

 _ **48\. Tell them it's about five sisters that have been kidnapped and are being forced to marry.**_

Bisca gave them a whole story about how the five sisters were extremely beautiful but had fallen on hard times, before being kidnapped and forced to marry. Erza was hooked from the first line.

 _ **49\. Get a Mirajane fanboy, Dan, Sol, Lyon, and Ichiya to play the five main antagonists.**_

The girls were a little put off by the idea of having to 'marry' the five guys, but they weren't ones to quit on a play they'd already started.

 _ **50\. Tell Laxus that Mira has been kidnapped.**_

Lisanna had run in breathless, and nearly burst into tears when she saw Laxus, telling him that Mira was in danger.

 _ **51\. Also, tell him that the man you kidnapped her is forcing her to marry him. (Say it's an obsessed fan)**_

When he didn't react instantly, Lisanna said that it had been a fanboy and they were going to force her to marry them… That got Laxus's attention. (And jealous anger)

 ** _52\. Tell Natsu the same thing with Lucy. (Say it was Dan)_**

Natsu was so angry with what Wendy had told him that he literally burnt a hole through a wall.

 _ **53\. And Gajeel for Levy. (Say it was an old acquaintance from Phantom Lord)**_

His whole body slowly turned to iron as Cana, in detail, explained what had happened to Levy and what Sol was probably planning.

 ** _54\. Inform Gray that the same has happened to Juvia. (Say Lyon did it)_**

Gray was angry enough when he'd heard that Juvia was missing, but when he was told that it was because of Lyon, he became so cold that if he and Natsu fought like they were right then, a tornado would've formed.

 _ **55\. Send a letter to Meredy and have her give the same news to Jellal. (Say it was Ichiya)**_

To Meredy's credit, it was surprisingly easy to get Jellal jealous enough to go try and rescue Erza himself. (The other members of Crime Sorciere knew what was going to happen and brought popcorn.)

 _ **56\. Make sure that the angry guys don't show up until the wedding scene.**_

It had been beautiful, the entire play went according to plan. Even to them breaking down the doors, right as they were about to say 'I do'.

 _ **57\. Laugh as five beautiful ships are started on the very same day.**_

The other women of Fairy Tail congratulated themselves on a job well done.

 ** _58\. Read to a young Natsu, from a fairy tale book that has dragons capturing princesses._**

Macao was just trying to get the little boy to fall asleep...honestly.

 _ **59\. Look back years later and realize that you were an idiot for doing so.**_

The first time he met Lucy, Macao's first thought was, 'Dear Mavis, he actually kidnapped someone! What have I created.'

 _ **60\. Bad mouth Fairy Tail.**_

This one is fairly self-explanatory.


	4. 61-80

_**61\. Tell them the secret of life is, 'It's not butter.'**_

Natsu and Gray wandered around the forest for hours trying to figure out what the heck Happy meant.

 _ **62\. Open a time portal to the past.**_

There are just somethings that Natsu's children shouldn't do.

 _ **63\. Convince Juvia to go on a job with Lyon.**_

Cana smirked as she waved goodbye to the duo.

 _ **64\. Tell Gray that Juvia is going on a date with Lyon.**_

Mira internally squealed as the entire area around Gray froze with sharp spikes

 _ **65\. Give Lucy the idea to go on a solo mission.**_

Juvia wanted to spend some time with Gray so she gave Lucy the idea to wait until the rest of the team was on separate missions and go on one by herself. Lucy loved the idea.

 _ **66\. Don't tell the rest of Team Natsu that Lucy's going on a solo mission.**_

After Lucy left Mira and Juvia conveniently forgot to mention it to the rest of her Team when they got back. There was much destruction.

 _ **67\. Forget Valentine's Day.**_

Laxus hadn't thought it was a big deal because he'd been on a mission that had nothing to do with the fourteenth. The vision of Demon Mira made sure that he remembered for the rest of his life.

 _ **68\. Tell Juvia to: "Cry me a river."**_

The traveler had been walking all day and when Juvia, distracted, bumped into him. She'd immediately started to tearfully apologize he'd scoffed and told her to cry him a river. Which she'd proceeded to do.

 _ **69\. Inform Gray that someone made Juvia cry.**_

When the rain started pouring down and the streets started flooding, Gray just knew that someone had upset Juvia, and for reasons, he would never admit that made Gray just slightly murderous.

 _ **70\. List all the reason Loke and Lucy would make an amazing couple.**_

Natsu stormed off after the second reason to go destroy Loke. Erza smirked.

 _ **71\. Find out what Levy's favorite book character is, then tell her they die in the end.**_

It might've been petty, but it was the only way Lucy could think to get back at Levy for stealing her book.

 _ **72\. Ruin the ending of the brand new book that Lucy just bought that day.**_

Levy smiled innocently as Lucy raged at the bar. Let the war begin.

 _ **73\. Conversationally tell Mira that you ship GrayLu and Navia.**_

"Cana."

"Yes, Mira?"

"If you _**EVER**_ suggest such a thing again, I'll poison your booze."

"..."

 _ **74\. Suggest that the girls of Fairy Tail should have a pillow fight.**_

The note appeared mysteriously, but since Erza found it first, she immediately thought it was a grand idea.

 _ **75\. Encourage them to invite the girls from the other guilds as well.**_

The resulting fight ended with eight in the infirmary, twelve with feather lung, the entirety of Fairy Hills in complete ruin, and the men of Fairy Tail scared for life. Most of them sought the relief of drink when they heard the girls mention making it an annual thing.

 _ **76\. Find out the deepest most darkest secrets of the other guild members, then write a book.**_

The book was published under the pen name "May Vista" and called The Fairy's Tale. Every member bought a copy, because of the title, and was horrified to read about their own secrets.

 _ **77\. Tell Freed that Laxus plans to elope with Mirajane as soon as possible.**_

After getting outrageously drunk, Freed began to bemoan the elopement… to Mira, who had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. Evergreen smirked slightly and hoped that the thought would push one of them to make a move.

 _ **78\. Buy Erza a giant strawberry cake, then just before you deliver it to her, with the cake in sight, trip and drop it.**_

Lyon had heard of Erza's love of strawberry cake and had thought it a good prank. We have not heard from him in two months, we fear he is no longer living.

 _ **79\. Tell Mira that you ship Laxvia.**_

In the following chaos, Mira ended up in a passionate kiss with Laxus, Juvia and Gray ended up locked in a closet with no way out until Freed let them out, and Cana just counted the Jewels she'd just earned from winning the bet about the reactions.

 _ **80\. Try to cut Cana off from alcohol cold turkey.**_

Gildarts should've known better.


	5. 81-100

_**81\. Introduce the guilds to Fanfiction.**_

After reading a few stories every person who'd read it needed to wash their eyes with extra strong bleach.

 _ **82\. Tell them the stores ran out of bleach.**_

The poor supermarket manager was so scared that day.

 _ **83\. Show the Fairy Tail women 'The Taming of The Shrew.' (Play or movie form it doesn't matter.)**_

The resulting rage that each girl underwent destroyed all but the theater, ironically.

 _ **84\. Tell them they should be more like Katherine at the end.**_

Erza and Mirajane sent the idiot into a coma for a year just for suggesting it.

 _ **85\. Show Mermaid Heel a version of 'Romeo and Juliet.'**_

They were horrified that there were girls who acted like that, and all hoped to never meet them.

 _ **86\. Ignore the exceeds every time they talk.**_

It started out with Lucy being mad at Natsu and Happy and giving them the silent treatment. Then it spiraled.

 _ **87\. Make all of them believe that their just normal cats and can't talk at all.**_

The exceeds began walking around on all fours and meowing.

 _ **88\. Teach Natsu and Gray poker.**_

Both boys were terrible at it, but it was a way to keep them from killing each other for a few minutes.

 _ **89\. Switch Cana's booze with colored water.**_

Yet another attempt that Gildarts had made to try and get his daughter away from the drink.

 _ **90\. Start up a fortune-telling business, but always make it seem more dangerous than it is.**_

Cana made boatloads and for two weeks everyone was waiting for the extremely dangerous sounding fortunes to come true.

 _ **91\. Get Lisanna drunk and ask her if she's in love with Natsu.**_

Mira breathed a sigh of relief when Lisanna laughed so hard she spilled her alcohol.

 _ **92\. Get Juvia addicted to horoscopes.**_

Cana smirked into her barrel as Juvia walked around with her nose in a magazine.

 _ **93\. Give Asuka coffee for the first time.**_

Natsu had been curious about what would happen.

 _ **94\. Let her become addicted to caffeine.**_

This one was Alzack's fault.

 _ **95\. Show random guys flirting with Wendy to Romeo.**_

Romeo walked away whistling merrily as three boys ran around screaming trying to get the bright purple fire off of them, and Wendy just ate her ice-cream, completely unaware.

 _ **96\. Tell Wendy that Romeo is going on a date with another girl.**_

If the girl in question happened to be blown away by a sudden wind vortex, then Wendy knew nothing about it.

 _ **97\. Teach Wendy, Romeo, and Asuka various forms of poker.**_

Macao and Wakaba were absolutely stunned at how quickly the three youngest members of Fairy Tail picked up the subtleties of the game.

 _ **98\. Teach Wendy, Romeo, and Asuka how to bluff in poker/poker faces.**_

Cana taught each of them the best way to use their age to their advantage.

 _ **99\. Show Wendy how to apply make-up.**_

On her sixteenth birthday, Wendy was taken aside and shown by the older members the easiest way to apply the demon substance known as make-up.

 _ **100\. Convince Gajeel it would be a good idea to marry Levy, then adopt Wendy.**_

It was pretty much Mirajane's last-ditch effort to hook the two up. To her surprise, it worked!


	6. 101-108

_**101\. Let Wendy here the local jerks call her 'the weakest and most useless dragonslayer.'**_

The same boys that had once criticized all wizards, once again, stood in a circle and compared dragonslayers. When Wendy heard their thoughts on her, she slumped forward and walked depressed back to the guild. The others noticed.

 _ **102\. Have Natsu try and cheer her up.**_

Natsu lit his fingers on fire and made elaborate fire figures.

 _ **103\. Give Gajeel try.**_

Gajeel made her beautiful pieces of jewelry to make her smile.

 _ **104\. Let Cobra attempt it.**_

His poison allowed him to make figurines out of seemingly anything.

 _ **105\. Allow Sting to try.**_

Sting's brilliant light display only made her feel worse.

 _ **106\. Let Rouge try and cheer Wendy up.**_

The shadow play was amazing but barely a smile did appear for Wendy.

 _ **107\. Tell Laxus that Wendy needs to be cheered up.**_

When Laxus heard, he brought her outside, roped Gray into helping him and made amazing pieces of lightning ice.

 _ **108\. Inform all six dragon slayers of the reason why Wendy is so sad.**_

Needless to say, those boys didn't criticize Wendy anymore.


End file.
